"The best of who you are..."

The demands of
life
wash over us
in waves of
want,
and need,
of
sorrow
and
hope...

of schedules,
appointments,
rehearsals,

of giving back
and
letting go,

of
dropping off,
and picking up...

desire,
prayer,
anticipation,
exhaustion,
or
just
showing
up
at the breakfast
table
one more
time...

Sometimes
it all
feels
like
just
"too much"

And then I remember
that
he said,
"someday,
you will miss
this."

At the time,
I was broken,
praying to be fixed,
and every moment
seemed like
it could not hold
another
crisis,
ride out another
wave of
fear,
let alone
bear another
burdened
heart.

And I replied,
with exasperation,
"you have to be
kidding...right?

I will never
miss,
long for,
yearn to feel,
all of this
ever
again. 

But he countered,
"no, I am not
kidding.  you will
miss this time when
every thought
was
noticed and
held accountable.

When your hunger for
Truth and Love
sliced through
the darkness of
"what if" 
like a
laser beam of
healing
light.

You will look
back on
this
time of
terror
with
delight
because, in it
you will have discovered
the best
of who
you
are."

Today I
remembered
and
smiled.

[photo credit: Nathaniel Wilder 2009]