"i have a Father..."

I do not have a father with
whom to celebrate
a day in june,
someone to share a daddy-daughter
dance with,
or teach me how to
budget...

I do not have
a papa,
a gentle dad upon whose
lap I sat and
dreamed of being a princess...

or taught me how to
identify the
silhouettes of birds in flight...

but,
I have discovered that...

I do have a Father who
loves me without measure,
I have a Father who
moves me to tears,
I have a Father who thinks of
me every moment, of every minute, of
every hour, of every day, of every week,
of every month, of every year, of every decade,
of every century, of every millenia, of every
second of eternity...

and for all those years that I had no one to
purchase cards,
...filled with tender sentiments...
for,

for every June I wept in silence for all
that I would never know...

I now realize that
I always
had an inner knowing
a deep unbidden
fullness, a constant, conscious certainty that
I was not alone...I felt Him in those moments
when wisdom came as a surprise,
when I said, "no," and meant it, when I felt
beautiful and knew it was the truth, when I defended
my purity and dared the world to cross the line
because He had my back...

I may never have had someone who would
look a boy in the eye and
demand he treat me with respect,
but I have a Father in whose
eyes I am
lovely...

and as the eyes of
His "I AM"
stare back at me from the mirror
and
assure me I am good and dear,
beloved and holy
in
His sight....
I feel His hand in mine
and face the day...

and with Him,
for Him,
because of  Him,
I celebrate Father's Day
every moment,
of every hour,
of every day....

and always will...