"still..."

please...
do not
show me sympathy...

it will not be
what I need most
today when
the winds of self
rage,
screaming that life
is not fair and
i don't deserve whatever
injustice or hurt
is tearing
at my poise and
shattering
my heart....

do not say
you understand...

please do not say that
it's
okay if
I am angry,
hurt,
sad....

this is not what
I need from you...

i need to stay
in the space of grace

i need the courage to say
"no" to
any voice that
offers
sympathy

i am staying here
i will not come down and
be comforted

it will only suck me into the
vortex of
self...and this is
fatal to
my loving

so,
if you have anything to
give,
i hope it is
your conviction that
I am
like my Father,
that I am His daughter
filled with
grace...
unmoved by the
earthquake of heartache,
the winds of emotion,
the fire of heated words...

I am still,
still loving,
still certain,
still willing,
still
still
still

like a lake
at dawn...

still like
a cloudless
Colorado
morning


still
like a changeless constellation
hanging
from a navy
velvet 
night sky

still like
Him...

still poised,
still peaceful,
still sure of
His love
filling me,
stilling my heart...

still

[photo credit: Kristen Oyer 2011]