"Jesus wept..."

"And Jesus
lifted up his eyes,
and said,
'Father, I thank thee
that thou hast heard me.

And I knew
that thou hearest me
always:

but because of the
people which stand by I said it,
that they may believe
that Thou hast sent me."
- John

I know, Father,
I know

You know
that
I know...right?

You know,
that
I know,
that
I am nothing but a witness
to Your doing,
nothing but
a listener to Your song...

but how do I
deny them
what they think they
want...
a Savior,
a Messiah,
a king of kings...

I point to You
in every case,
I drag my feet, and still they
wait to hear
my words...when it is
Your Word
they
really want,
Your Word they
really need...

I know,
because only You have
filled my emptiness,
only You have eased my
weariness,
carried my burdens,
healed my wounds,
quieted the
terror
and temptations
of forty days and
forty nights
where winds howled and
devils taunted,
and still
your Word
pierced
the
darkness of
a
barren hope,
the
hunger for something
I could not even
taste, but felt the
aching for....

They want You,
but think they need me.

They hunger for Your
Word,
and yet, think they will be
sated with words from me....
when all that
they
would
leave them with is
emptiness where it mattered,
and gasping for
Spirit,
thirsting for
Truth,
famished, yet full
of empty
words that will not heal, but
only lull
them into the sleepiness
of thinking they
have heard
You
through me...

but
all they will have is
Your message to
me...

and all the
while You
are singing
a song
written just for
their heart,
a love song that
will raise them from the
bed of pain,
call them from the tomb,
fill them with
a purpose
that is theirs
alone,
a calling so pure,
direct,
and undiluted
that it
cannot be
mistaken for the
lispings of
man,
but will
course through
their own
hearts strong
and sure...

sigh...

but today,
they think You will speak
through me...

and he is my friend
his sisters need him,
his friends are
waiting...

so,
because of the people
which stand by I will say it
but You know
I know
You were there
with him all along...
lifting him,
calling him,
loving him...

loving them...

so
I will
say it:

"Lazarus,
come forth..."

and he wept....