"finding something else...."

“Look for something,
find something else,
and realize that what you've found
is more suited to your needs
than what you thought you were looking for. ”
- L. Block


I ran through
the rooms of
my life
searching for something
I thought
I wanted...

something I was afraid to
lose,
even before
I'd
found it...

I lifted the covers on
this career and
that,

scoured the
the landscape for a
purpose,
a person,
a place....

I looked,
and looked,
and there were so many
times when I
caught sight of a
flicker,
the sparkle,
something poking out from
under the
bed ruffle...

it caught my eye,
stopped me in my tracks,
but by the time
I got there...it was gone...
vanished,
dissolving in the
desperation of my
grasping.

and then one day,
tired from
my restless seeking
I sat against
myself,
and leaned into
the
solid
core of my own
constancy...
the heartbeat of
an infant
calling

I felt the
strength of
something I had
forgotten was always
there...

me.

All my searching,
and I
was
waiting deep
within the
soft
folds of
my own heart...

and this
child self
was singing

singing
a song of the sea,

calling me
home...

I pressed my
ear into the pulsing
of stones and sorrows,
sisterhood and
solitude...

the sounds were blue and
gray, shadows cast upon the softest
shades of
alabaster and
midnight,
they were
hushed by
sand, and the
whisperings of an afternoon
storm turning
mountains into
islands,
and
prairie grasses into the
tawny waves of something ancient,
always rising...

rising and
falling
to the bend and break
of a surging
silence,
lifting to the
call of
a blackened sky,
into the arms of
a cradling
stillness

singing me
home to
the place,
the person,
the purpose I
have known
all
along...

a beachcomber of
syntax and
syllables,
shards and stanzas that
are washed
upon the edge foam of
my soul,
the space between the
water and the sand, along
endless shoreline of my heart,

searching
always searching
for the next
word...

searching for
a noun
and
finding
a verb...