Saturday, May 12, 2012

"so lonely..."


“Did you ever
walk through a room
that's packed with people,
and feel so lonely
you can hardly take
the
next
step?”
- J. P.

she was
small and
frail...
like a baby bird with
tufts instead of
feathers,
the new girl in the class,

her dress spotless,
crisply ironed
with the scent of
scorched cotton
softly lingering
like
perfume...

her shoes polished,
but sole-weary

the rest of the class
had gone
to recess
and she'd remained
hanging back
blindly searching for a
thin coat with frayed
cuffs,
mis-matched buttons,
and a worn collar...

"miss..."
she whispered
as I gathered my things
and dreamed of
the few moments of
quiet I'd now
have...

"miss..."
was all she could get out
before tears as
hot and
heavy as honey
pooled above
her lashes

"i am that girl,
the one in the book,
the one
who has no friends..."
she barely
lisped before
wracking sobs
shook her thin shoulders and
she slipped
within herself again...

i silently crossed
the room...

as
both the teacher,
and
the once-upon-a-time
new girl
who
was never "there"
long enough to
make a
friend...

I slid to the floor
beside her,
and let us cry
a bit...

then we played
chess...

while I
gave thanks,
that
i understood,
and
and
didn't say
I did..

“I wish I could show you
when you are lonely
or in darkness
the astonishing light
of your own being.”
― Hafiz



2 comments:

  1. What a beautiful gift of prayer you gave--in action--one that gracefully insisted that both of you were (and are) in the present of God's ever-presence. "Silently, silently..."prayerfully...a "wonderous gift".. how I am finding out more of that strength (and surely still will). Thank you for this poem and for our often 'silent' love at the moment.

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  2. I really love this poem. It reminded me of why I am a teacher and why I love it so much. Something I have really worked on this year is really putting self aside for the kids and thinking about what they need, not what I need. I often feel like I really just need a quiet moment during their recess or in the morning before school, but there are always kids coming to the door wanting to come in... In the past I would've said no, but this past year I let them come in to talk, play with Mack (the dog), or just talk with a friend. It has helped a lot this year to focus more on their needs instead on what I think I need. I love what MBEddy says, "What we most need is the prayer of fervent desire for growth in grace, expressed in patience, meekness, love, and good deeds." Thank you...♥

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