"...breaking wide open..."

My heart is breaking
wide open

I learned today
that
I am not the
only one

A child,
a small girl,
a broken fairy...
was once
a grown
man's
dream

I can
take the
pain of my own 
tortured
nights
because I know
how strong
I am,
how strong
I was...

I know that I survived...
no,
thrived...the terror,
the darkness,
the disconnection
from my
innocent self
living on the
ceiling
night after night...

I don't know
if I
can
survive hers. 

Shouldn't I
have
known,
seen,
intuited,
stopped
the
madness...

It is
too
much to bear

Help me
God...

Help me

please help
me remember
that
You were
there for me,
and please,
assure me that  You
were there for
her too

that You
helped
her 
find her way
to the
ceiling
where she...
the real her...
was unreachable

That You did
not forsake
her,
that You
held her
close,
covered her ears
from the sound
of her own
crying,
whispered
love,
love,
love into
her heart.

Promise me
that
You will be
there
to remind her
that she
is pure,
good,
innocent,
untouched....

Please...

promise me
that
You
will not forsake
her...

that You will
tell her
that she is Your
daughter...

that she was
always Your beloved
daughter...
always
"all glorious
within"

and please,
help her see that,
someday,
she will be able
to help others
with
her compassion...

it will be
her gift

what she will be able
to pour
from the place that
she thought
was broken...
broken wide open...
her heart.

please...

oh dear God...
please...